Mother’s Day is approaching and there’s nothing any of us want to do other than see our mothers during a time when we’re really supposed to be isolating ourselves in our homes making Tik Tok videos. Even in an age where we are all connected through the power of the internet, nothing can replace the comfort of being around the woman who had your tiny body inside of her body for almost an entire year. Unfortunately, we all have to do our parts in these trying times to protect each other by staying indoors and forgetting what day it is while we yearn for human interaction again, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t ways to show your mother love on Mother’s Day. Let’s take a look at some creative ways to make it a memorable, but socially responsible day for your mother to remember.
5. Tik Tok
As much as it pains us to get with the times, we can’t deny Tik Tok has the potential to help us bring joy to our mother with short skits or videos of us dancing. Yes, mother, you conceived us so that one day we would smash our heads against doorways on the internet for everyone’s entertainment. At least make one of you lip-syncing to her favorite Dolly Parton song.
If your mother is within reasonable driving distance, then maybe you can hit her with a drive-by. No, that doesn’t mean you load up a gun and wait for her to check her mail. That means you let her know that you’re driving by her home and are going to do the “In My Feelings” challenge where you get out of a slow-moving car and dance to the song. Just make sure you don’t involve her car in a fender bender unless you don’t want your next interaction with her being in a traffic court.
3. Sending Flowers
This one might be a little cliche, but delivering items is the new temporary norm until people decide to help the rest of society out by flattening the curve and staying inside. Flower companies are absolutely not essential, so you’re going to have to get creative with where you’re getting flowers. Maybe order an Uber and then call the driver to pick up flowers instead of a person and see if they’ll do that. Just make sure you give them a tip before you have a flaming bag of poop on your doorstep.
2. Toilet-Papering Her House
Back in the day, throwing toilet paper at someone’s house was a form of pranking someone you didn’t like. However, in this age where the worst people are buying up toilet paper to profit off of people’s panic, throwing rolls of toilet paper at someone’s home is the ultimate show of love. If you really want to show her how much you love her, throw toilet paper through her window when you know she’s on the can trying to use a turkey baster as a bidet. She’ll definitely appreciate it.
1. Actually Calling
Calling? With a telephone? What is this the 1990s? Who calls anyone anymore except for those telemarketing calls from a suspiciously Hindu-sounding man who claims to be from Michigan trying to see if you’re happy with your long-distance coverage. It’s time to travel back to a time when we would lay in bed and twirl a phone cord around our fingers while calling your mother and reminding her that the person she kept inside of her body for nine months knows how to operate a phone now.
She’s so proud of you. Happy Mother’s Day! (Social Distancing Edition)